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December, 2004 |
Thanksgiving - It Lives ! ! |
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A practice which is effective in bringing emotional balance is one that requires precise physical and mental effort along with at least a hint of success. For me this would be a practice of balance poses that are difficult but still possible: · inversions and their variations · poses standing on one leg · arm balances · twists for calming · center further with an easy forward bend, the forehead supported · Savasana with eye cover
Life is a dance of energies. - Vimala Thakar
IT is all about relationships. - Manohar
Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans. - John Lennon |
The intention of my meditation is to converse with my soul, who now sits next to me, I imagine looking at me expectantly. The written instructions are, once connected to my soul, ask in my own words for direction in ‘reaching a state of pure spiritual consciousness.’ The words that fall from my consciousness are, “So, what do you want to do?” After a pause, I sense from deep inside myself and from the seat next to me simultaneously, “Hmmm, I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Visiting family is like Hansel and Gretel leaving bread crumbs along the wooded path in order to find their way back home. Family members are the bread crumbs that guide us back to a time that we remember as more innocent. If we become lost, if the wisdom of age becomes too scary, we can revisit our childhood by relating to those who shared it with us. Good, bad or indifferent we stand to gain much by observing our long-standing relationships and how they evolve. I enjoy Thanksgiving with family. As a holiday, it’s fun, festive, and, in general, less stressful than some others. With its themes of eating and giving thanks, how difficult can it be? With my family, the traditions connected with this particular holiday actually ease or deter eruptions of familial rage. We can always depend on emotional baggage being carried in, but it isn’t always brought out and shared. We each maintain a sense of security and continuity just knowing we brought it along, that, like other excess luggage, it is there, just in case we decide we need it. The most current issues on the table always revolve around who has come together for the holiday and where. And, why isn’t—fill in the blank—in attendance here or there? Regardless of familial alliances, this is truly where the holiday battle lines are drawn, long before the actual event. After invitations are given; after excuses/reasons/regrets or acceptance is received; after second, third, and more invitations (the potential hosts usually resorting to begging, nagging, and extorting); those who at first stated their intentions to not attend reconsider and may acquiesce (under duress and layers of guilt). The exact hour of dinner and number of persons expected at the table change many times over, as late as Thanksgiving morning. For some, the liquidity of plans is an issue. For others, anything is okay as long as they 1) get to eat, and 2) get to watch the game. While chopping vegetables, it is inevitable that we talk about who is not coming to dinner and why. Judgment is passed on the decisions made by those not in attendance, as well as the reasoning behind their decisions. We don’t just expect adherence to our wishes, we expect that if you don’t follow our guidelines your reasoning meet our standards of validity. Arriving early and helping prepare the meal or set the table allows the greatest insight for the remainder of the holiday, namely whose plight in life is being resolved this season. It helps to have lots of detail, as emotions become stronger the longer the family is together. When it comes to a family discussion, knowing more and knowing it sooner is very helpful because things become somewhat garbled as the day progresses, confusion becomes king, and someone says the wrong thing (again). As my sisters and I age, as members of our extended family come and go, the personality of our get-togethers has changed dramatically. This year I had the sense that we were finally coming into our own. We are more able to let go of childish expectations and each of us seem more satisfied with the evolution of the Burdette (my maiden name) holiday. This contentment, though, has come at great cost. Our parents are leaving us, quite a few in the last several years. Looking at the seats at the table that will remain forever empty tends to reduce friction. It’s not just that our performance as a child is no longer encouraged and appreciated by some dysfunctional parent-child relationship, it’s that our appreciation for each other grows as we mature. We are becoming more adult in our interactions rather than big and little sisters. It is sad yet curiously comfortable at the same time. Over all I would give my Thanksgiving holiday this year a nine. There were many heated discussions, feelings were hurt, people were irritated, but we each seemed aware of the supportive undercurrent of grace. There was a sense of belonging, a sense that those that truly matter were near us, in our hearts even if geographically distant or passed over into another life. The drive home was long, thirteen hours. For me the ride was a moving meditation retreat. It was a time of crying and grieving; of releasing the emotional residue of a family gathering and deeply feeling the letdown that follows. It was during the straight line drive through Indiana that my cell phone rang. It was Rohit, from India. He called to tell me he had procured an item I had asked him to find for me. He told me about the weather in Pune, about the upcoming birthday celebrations for Guruji (700 planning to attend), and other niceties. By the time I hung up the phone I couldn’t contain my laugh-out-loud exuberance. Look at this life! I have lived a semi-nomadic life getting to know many communities, I have traveled and seen other cultures, I travel for my work, I have friends all over the world, I have earned degrees that would have been unthinkable in my family two generations ago, I have a warm home, I have a computer, garage door opener, a washer, dryer, dishwasher. I was driving in my warm, cozy car, confident I would be able to find food, gas or service when I needed, and, listening to my CD player when a person from the other side of the world (literally) calls and talks to me as though he is sitting beside me. My family and friends provide me with a loving, caring, supportive network. And it is all loads of fun.
“Hmmm, I want to dance!”
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Natarajasana
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Nata is dancer, raja is king. Natarajasana is the posture of the Lord of the Dance. The Lord of the Dance refers to one of the embodiments of the Hindu deity, Shiva. Among the dances of this God are those of creation and destruction. It is to this dance we are all committed. In Light on Yoga natarajasana is an advanced pose. It requires open hips and a healthy movement at the shoulder girdle (without which injury results). My practice in yoga, however, began with a book written by a teacher who taught a variation that was less advanced and more doable. It remains one of my favorite postures. It relieves stiffness in my neck and shoulders. It gives balance.
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Volume 1 Issue
5
After
another pause my souI confesses, 