A Break of Sorts

October 20, 2003

After a fairly gloomy weekend I wake up this morning elated and thanking God that I live in a time when the treatments, while gruesome, are much improved and that early detection is truly a possibility.  Mortality rates are much decreased for breast cancer than even 20 years ago.  Hurrah.  I'm ready to take them on.

October 21, 2003

Oncologist thinks that my energy will return during radiation, that it will not be so tiring.  He also suggested that part of the fatigue had to do with the pain med. He says the pain will take as long to subside as it took to come on.  There are ways of treating it other than central nervous system depressants.  I decided to stay with the evil I know, even though I feel like a drug addict and each time I call for a renewal I'm connecting with my supplier.  Yoga postures take away the pain, but only while I'm in them. 

I received a prescription for Arimidex.  There have been reports about the ending a study on Letrozole (an aromatase inhibitor which prohibits the growth of estrogen - very good for those of us with estrogen receptive tumors) before its five year period is up because it is doing so well.  There are people here involved with the study.  My doctor says he could prescribed Tamoxifen to be followed in 5 years by  Letrozole or Arimidex that does about the same as the 2 combined.  He decides Arimidex.  Long term side effects on both require doctor's eagle eye.  I check back in 3 months for bloodwork.

First radiation is scheduled for Thursday this week.  7 weeks and counting down.

October 22, 2003

I ordered, and received, a book by Annie Toglia, Staying Abreast.  Yesterday I had a voice mail from her checking to see that I had received my book.  Annie has stage 4 breast cancer and has gone through many medical treatments.  Her background is in fitness and dance.  Now she is a Medical Exercise Specialist working with people with breast cancer.  I called her on the way to see the naturopath.  It was a delightful conversation.  She will be in Arkansas in the spring and I hope to connect with her face to face then.  She is very willing to help me set up a program here in northwest Arkansas.  It was quite timely, the phone call, because she had just had a cancellation and was free to talk.  She likes to talk to fellow cancer survivors (fighters, whatever).  She gave me advice regarding liver cleansing.  I have been just wiped out this week.  This week is on level with the most fatigue I have experienced throughout these 6 months.  She suggested milk thistle (also read about this in Susun Weed's book), seaweed, and an oriental herb compound.  Annie says she still has numbness in her feet from the Taxol.  I told her I thought it was temporary.  Well.

Naturopath agrees about the milk thistle.  She couldn't find the name of the oriental herb in her book (I will ask my oriental medicine doctor tomorrow).  She gives me, in addition to the other supplements I am on, milk thistle, Vitamin C, a Vitamin C cream to help heal the burning flesh from radiation, and kelp.  I no longer take the Purge as I am, for now, free of parasites.  Whoopee.

October 23, 2003

Oriental medicine doctor is not sure about the herb Annie recommended.  Spelling and names can be different.  There are many doctors and companies making compounds.  He will check into it and I will email Annie.  But, there are so many ways to treat cancer and he does have a plan.  So, it's not a big deal.  He has already told me of the herb he will recommend once the radiation is complete.  It is specifically for breast cancer.

The radiation institute called.  I am postponed until Monday.

I am so very, very tired.

October 24, 2003

Rested yesterday in the time slot I had made for the radiation treatment.  Today I feel energized.  I like this.

Met a woman today who has had personal experience with cancer that she treated naturally.  She didn't say what type of cancer she had, but she said that she did not have any medical treatments.  This over 10 years.  We will get together and talk.  We also have other interests in common, Ayurvedic medicine and Jyotish astrology.

October 25, 2003

Gave my 3 hour teacher course this morning.  I did not get tired during, as I did the last time, and this evening am feeling quite nice.  I think this is the beginning of feeling good and having some energy.  Even if it's temporary, I'm glad for it.

October 26, 2003

Today thought about death, mine in particular.  It was a calming deliberation.  I guess after you recognize your mortality it can be quite comforting.

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