|
Just Tired of
It All
November 23, 2003
Today is my son's 30th birthday. I
haven't even gotten a gift for his and Dea's wedding last month!
I am missing a lot of fun. It's my goal to have more fun.
But, to do that, I have to learn how. I'm so used to
finding fun in work that the social type fun I'm wanting to
expand upon is not really my best event.
The staff at the radiation institute have found
their rhythm. This past week has been basically in and
out. Almost a drive through. They are good about
reminding when appointments may take longer. Kudos.
This past week I was very tired and a bit
discouraged. I thought, "if I'm tired from the radiation,
it's premature (only 4 weeks in), what do I have to look forward
to in terms of accumulation?" On the other hand, it could
just be tired from overdoing last week (not that I would ever do
that, ha-ha). Thursday's acupuncture treatment helped put
things right. From Thursday afternoon on I felt great.
Then there was yesterday (Saturday) which was too long a day
after too tiring a week. Now I am again slumping.
Maybe I could use 2 acupuncture treatments a week and, as
always, a reduced schedule. But, wait, there is really
good news. Thanksgiving is coming at just the right time -
this coming week is a short work week. Bob and I are
invited to a dinner with some other adults short on family.
Hurrah.
Saw Kathy at the radiation institute Friday.
She breezed through her treatments as I have. Honestly,
she still looks really well. She says except for cancer
and its treatments, she feels great. Her cancer has moved
to bone. Her sister had a double mastectomy last week.
I am unable to handle this information with as much grace as I
would like. I have been so depressed. My husband is
getting the brunt of my irritation. Sign off so I can go
to the other room and apologize and make things soft. He
was sick this week, a fever with aches and chills. We were
both worried it was the flu, bad for him and really bad for me.
But it went away very quickly. Two sick people taking care
of each other - aah, the glamour of marriage.
November 26, 2003
Burns on my breast. The doc gave me a
cream to use. It isn't pleasant.
November 27, 2003
Thanksgiving. I am having difficulty
swallowing. What better timing? Anyway, had a nice visit
with some friends with really good food. I was able to eat
everything I wanted, I just had to think about it. I was
too tired to really go visiting, but I went anyway. It was
nice and I'm glad I went. I will be glad when my energy
improves. Now, I'm not sleepy, just tired, so I can't
sleep, I just hang around. Yoga helps but only for a
little while.
To allow for comfort when wearing a bra, I
rigged up some padding with a sleeve (very, very soft fabric)
that I used to wear under my knee brace between skin and bra.
It is working quite well, just bulky.
November 28, 2003
I think I passed on my supplements yesterday.
Today, first thing I got them stuck in my throat and had to
throw up to get them out. It was unpleasant. Now my
throat is sore. On top of that I have a rash all over my
body. I can't think what I have done. It itches.
At first I thought, great, the one day I don't see a million
health care professionals. But, as luck would have it I
have an appointment with the acupuncturist. He gave me
Bach Flower Rescue cream. It's great. I am using it
on the burn also. It seems to do better than the
prescription the doc gave me. The acupuncturist says I can
use both creams, just alternate, but I like the Bach cream best.
He says it has a calming component. My rash is nearly
gone.
A couple of weeks ago the acupuncturist changed
one of my herbs. The previous was for reducing fluid and
calming the digestion system during chemo. Now I have an
herb that brings in fluid for the heat produced by radiation.
I like the herb, but find it hard to comply since I have to heat
water (presumably not in microwave) to take it. It's easier to
take than tablets and capsules but this is the 4th herb I have
to mix with water, each separately.
Top
November 29, 2003
Rash is gone. I have just this one spot
I'm scratching which I believe to be a combination of stress and
radiation.
December 7, 2003
The past week has been one of great fatigue.
I'm not so sleepy as just bone tired. Some days I find it
difficult to concentrate, to think. Some days I find it
difficult to jump out of the "I'm sad" mode. That's
totally useless, but it does come. Beginning tomorrow
(Monday) my radiation will be only on the scar, the scar boost.
I will get that for 7 treatments, then done. The skin on
my breast is crusty and reddish brown. It's quite
unattractive. I realized last week that after the last
radiation treatment it will be a month or longer before I see an
allopathic physician - oh, my, healthcare withdrawal.
I saw a program on the health discovery channel
that said bone marrow aspiration from the pelvis was a better
indicator than sentinel node biopsy for metastases. I
emailed my doctor. He ways he did it as part of a clinical
trial. So, why do they put info on TV that is not
available to us?
December 10, 2003
Burns, ouch. In addition, I have been on
this pain medicine so long that there is probably a physical
dependency. After this is over I get to detox. The
doctor made all sorts of suggestions on how to deal with the
burns, but we tried most of them last week (when he was out of
town). They just didn't work for one reason or another.
So, the strategy is to just bear it (of course, with the help of
pain relief in one form or another).
Only 4 more treatments. I get happier
each day. I get my body back.
December 11, 2003
As my skin broke down and I had more marks that
I was trying to keep intact I shied from showering. I can
get by with that (I think) because I don't sweat. Finally,
I couldn't stand it anymore. I took a shower and old skin
sloughed away. My burns look so much better. I
apologized to the radiation techs. But, I also asked why
they didn't call me on my poor hygiene. Funny.
Embarrassing. True.
Top
Go to
Next Page in Journal
Return to Cancer and Exercise
Index |
